i never understood do it yourself projects,
or forced words,
or faking love just to clear loneliness
i never understood why i have to go to college
or rather
why i have to pay so fucking much to LEARN (okay maybe i understand the market but still..)
why finding new friends & traveling is TABOO
how we have to find ourselves and represent ourselves through our exterior image
why everyone is too fucking lazy to peel the mask away
why it matters so much to everyone if i keep my well paying job OR actually live for myself
i'm done living for everyone else
the more i do it
the more it breaks my heart more and more to realize the commodity ive become to everyone
im just another fashion trend lurking in and out of your closet
i'm just yr favorite toy that will be on the shelf soon enough
i'm sober yes, but happy? no. i was happier before. noone believes this. it was easier to numb all the shit rotting away at my miserable days.
yes i have friends too many though that i dislike
i just want a change of scenery
i don't want to be on long island anymore.

i was happy once you know