I now understand why people go to psychics, are determined to astral project, practice channeling, even believe in past lives, etc. some days i miss you so much i can’t even get out of bed anymore. all my secrets and past died with you and i wish i could have been there at your end. You would think nights are the loneliest but really it’s momebts when i hear a song, when i look to myleft in the car, see something i would have told you about, had an experience I’d love to share, etc. When you share something with one person and then while you two have unfinished business they go away it is really hard. You were my best friend and could have been even more if only the timing was right and i didn’t take the easy way so much.

After you passed nothing’s been the same . It’s getting very hard to cope with death for me . I should feel lucky it took 32 years to feel this emotion . I don’t know why but i guess i thought I’d never be close enough to get hurt