in a strange suspension of belief, my senses have been heightened and frightened in all the more strange, precarious situations.

for instance (CUE THE INTRODUCTION) --___----

the visuals floating in my brain are not as vivid, however, those are the illusions. i'll learn to create them. the colours of reality however, are far more strange. sea foam green grass grows in the mountains nearby. the skylines are gradient like a blue sweater i wore on one of my first dates in grade nine. the lakes are filled with the song 'la mer' && the reflections hitting my eyes from the skys and the lakes are all cluster fucked like some terribly cheesy glistening eyes but i can't even take how much beauty i see sometimes here ! & i look at the curvatures of yr lips and stare at yr eyes and the lips are like the mountains and yr eyes are of the sea & the purple shirt reminds me of a thousand tulips picked and smudged for the paint raw raw raw a lot of things are raw but nevertheless

never the less
(wait for the cue...wait!)

oh yes, also, sounds are not as vivid my hearing is quite terribly off but my rhythm is slightly back (did i ever have rhythm? do i now?) oh and in the bedroom my sexuality can be compared to lady chatterly...oh my oh my i feel a lot like her lately...state of flux...two worlds...you can never live a double life and truly be content, but we do need some sort of happy balance, between the 'good' and 'bad' , no ? it is all so deviant at home....im sleeping with the devil at home & here it's lucifer....the good one before he realized how goddamn handsome of a devil he is and how much he can get away with....oh, i'm afraid you will come down too and realize. oh believe me. it happens to us all. (just wait for the cue)