getting back to the karmic contract

sometimes you have those days where you have everything surrounding you pushing you, reminding you about the karmic contract you signed but you just can't remember until it's spelled out right in front of you...the karmic contract is like that little contract you signed before you got to this world agreeing with god you are interested in having a specific experience. almost like you chose the path you are on before it ever happened just so you could live out that experience. its not that i believe in reincarnation the way religion believes in it, but instead, we are all energy and your choosing your moment almost before you get here...i sometimes wonder if in any past lives i experienced love. is this what i'm here for? is it something else and i'm on a lost path? i have reasons since i was young which is why i think i was interested in experience in this thing called love. anyway, maybe i only choose one life and then go back to the ball of light where you came from, and maybe you only come once, maybe multiple times, but anyway, the karmic contract can seem cruel but in every experience you're here to learn something anyways. figuring out your focus in this life is important but i think ive lost a bit of my way lately. as i start having more time alone it gets easier to correct this......