most the time i can't help but think i fucked up, majorly. what is this life anyway? most of the time i wake up crying & i can't figure out why. bP thinks im depressed. i don't think that's the case. i think it's more of most the time i feel like i am walking around in someone elses life. that's the easiest way i can describe it. most of the time i have a loop playing in my head of allen ginsberg & it goes a little something like this......
Toward education marriage nervous breakdown, operation, teaching school, and learning to be mad, in a dream--what is this life?
most of the time i'm glad that only bP knows everything about me. it's a relief actually, compared to last time in life.
who am i kidding? most of the time there's only two things in this world i want. & only one of them is human, & he's the best. that's about it for now.
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