lets be other people

im writing to you. the creator telling you
or maybe
yr wrting to me
on how to be a new person
yet im stuck in old traps and yr a saint and i am finally fucking a saint 23 years its taken, or was it 29?
its a new journey.

old
& why did i stumble upon you? was the whole journey embarked to meet you? to write you this letter? to let (?) arise? nonexistances? should i accept all and connect nothing with this? im dampened in my paintines the oneS lying in the corner now....
what did they do to u
why did u ever arrive
do u keep past secrets hidden?
what do you avoid?
how did you let go of your past so easy?
is it so hard with me so its not spoken of?
im running towards my pen again
help me pick up the pieces
let me be yr cheerleader
sing me sad songs
let me conquer life so you too conquer life
will my insatiable curiousity starve me?
did it already?
why do you love me in my way?
how did u know?
am i too downhearted lately?
its because i miss you
no
its because i dont want to do this alone
only with you
i was waiting for yr arrival before i could ever write you these words
why is this all connecting so delicately?
yr teaching me how much i loathe my own self pity
no more self victim role for me
never fit quite right
for so long i was lost in ()
im found in yr arms now
wrapping me in the same shape as them

after i fucked you like you were some omnipotent creatore
a same of todays way
truisms were now revealed
moths still fly near the lights
neighbors are seen walking their dogs
birds begin to chirxp
all of lifes trivials trot on but you boby
you opened the light.
it was all a facade before.
i had to do this
delve into my own brain to realize this
before this my past was not real. my experiences were warped so id be ready for the benefits of you&me
when did you decide to love me?